In this blog post, I share advice for gaining and maintaining inspiration for those in various recovery stages alongside caregivers. Social interaction is a huge part of the healing process, and isolation is the enemy of forward momentum. I encourage you to find and cherish your sources of inspiration.

Before we move into the advice portion of this blog post, I would like to aim a spotlight on the person who inspires me most during my recovery. This person isn’t someone I initially knew — we met years into my journey. All that I’ve learned along the way has been one blessing after another because of this person.

When we first met, I was very broken and withdrawn because of the after-effects of my paralysis, the side-effects of my medication, and most of all the chronic traumatic pain of movement within my very constrained body. I was broken in so many ways. After years of unbearable chronic traumatic pain shutting me down and closing me off from the world, I finally met someone who I felt I could open up too. With family, friends, and even a psychiatrist, I found none that I was comfortable opening up to until this person. Suddenly, I felt like my soul was telling me this was the right person and it was ok to trust them and start letting go. Since that first meeting, this person helped me realize that fear is a choice and restores my confidence, encourages me overcome incredible pain, advances me forward in my recovery far beyond any surgical procedures or pharmaceuticals, and helped me rediscover myself and the meaning of life. Talking with this person also did one more wonderful thing — when we talked, I would actually forget that I was disabled, and more to the point, helped me feel human again. This is still an ongoing battle for me because my journey is far from over. Yet what makes me grateful is this person’s resilience and patience with me. The unwavering confidence and outlook on the world are always positive and inspiring in our conversations and equally great takeaways for me which remind myself to never give up.

When something life-threatening and traumatic occurs in our lives, it’s easy to find ourselves unexpectedly alone in a sea of people that support us. Both family and friends alike are there to comfort us in the midst of our shock and grief. Initially their words are comforting, and their concern and sympathy are unmatched. This should normally make anyone feel grateful that they have the love and support system or network of people who care surrounding them during their time of need and despair.

However, as time goes on it’s easy to start feeling withdrawn, as though you no longer feel a connection with those who are trying to help you. It’s by no means the people: sometimes it’s the devastation and type of trauma experienced which causes a conflict and the inability to hear and accept the words of peace being bestowed while you’re trying heal. Their words and actions are forthright, but unknown to those helping is what they intend is better suited for people like themselves instead of what you face and fight for each day from the time you wake up until the end of your day. For instance, how does one explain what life is like in a wheelchair if those receiving the message have never spent time in one? How does one tell someone with PTSD everything will be ok if they’ve never experienced what caused the PTSD? The more these polite and caring actions occur, the more it’s easy to feel withdrawn and not accepted.

The message by those people intending to help may only come across as noise, or notes on a sheet of music and void of lyrics. In other words, the people offering help and the person who needs it are more than likely speaking two different languages and neither understand the other.

There are a few things to consider here from both parties. For the person who is injured, consider the following:

1. Keep an open heart
   
   Do your best to never let what tempts you to withdraw to chase your family and friends away. You need them — especially as days, weeks, and months turn into years.
   

2. Communication is always important
   
   If you have difficulty finding the words and descriptions to talk to family and friends about your trauma or your disability, or you feel they can’t relate or understand, don’t bottle everything up. Find a way to communicate to them besides using words, or find someone who can understand.
   

3. Let others help you
   
   Even if they don’t understand what’s wrong or how to relate, remember loved ones and professionals are offering help because they care. Don’t build barriers or shut them out.
   

4. Allow someone new in
   
   Someone you least expect may appear in your life who finally understands what’s affecting your ability to let go and heal. They may not be family or friends, but they’re someone you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down.
   

5. Don’t take advantage of helpers
   
   Insert self-reliance everywhere possible, but short of what puts you in danger.

For caregivers offering assistance, consider the following:

1. Learn how to listen
   
   The person you intend to help may use unconventional methods to communicate. Try your hardest not to insert your capabilities into the lives of those you intend to help.
   

2. Comparison is not productive
   
   Do your best not to compare something that’s ailed you in the past to the ailment of the person you’re trying to help unless it’s exactly the same or worse. All that matters right now is the healing and mental health of the person you’re helping to recover.
   

3. Be kind and patient
   
   Yes, sometimes tough love might be needed to shake those in need into some confidence, but be very careful because if it turns into meanness all you’re accomplishing is barriers being erected in front of you and being shutout.
   

4. Celebrate small wins
   
   Little steps bring big rewards to those trying to find their way back.
   

5. Have a “Because I want to” instead of “Because I have to” mentality
   
   Ask yourself, “What if this was me and how would I handle my limitations and all that’s going on around me,” as your gauge to how your helping. Be compassionate and do for that person because you want to, not because you have too. If you reach “because you have too,” then you need a break. Know this while you’re on your break from those us who you’re helping. We love you and appreciate all the hard work and patience you’re putting into help us. Your efforts never go unnoticed.

There’s a quote from Gandhi that I keep close to me for many reasons: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I see the person who inspires me living out this quote each day, no matter what obstacles stand in the way. The resilience of it is not only inspiring, but proof that anything is possible if you try. Because of all of this I have learned how to appreciate life and live all over again. It is my hope that you also have a vital source of inspiration in your life.

Do you have suggestions of your own for physical and psychological healing? I encourage you to reach out and let us know your thoughts on this subject either here or on social media.