I would like to say to all the family members, friends, and caregivers who are currently helping someone who is disabled in any way that your patience and efforts never go unnoticed and are always the kindest of gifts and the best of blessings. You are heroes to all of us who struggle and combat our daily bonds in one way or another. Whether or not we realize it, you make each day worth fighting for, and what afflicts us goes away even if only for a few short moments. You have the ability to help us heal through happiness by pulling our thoughts toward something or someplace much better.
It’s never easy to do what you do for us. You may beat yourself up wondering, Was what I did today enough? Did I say or do the right thing? Did I spend enough time? Am I actually helping?
Trust me when I say everything you do is always enough, always welcomed and appreciated, and in our eyes may we always see it as perfection because what you do is from your heart. Thank you for taking time out of your life to make our lives much better.
When you’re focusing your attention on a loved one going through an ordeal, realize first and foremost that they are injured to the extent that their body is working overtime to repair itself. As a result, they are very fatigued. Their emotions are more than likely all over the map. When I went through my ordeal the one question I enjoyed people asking of me and I still enjoy to this day is, “How are you doing?” It may not seem like a big deal on the surface, but what it always meant to me was that the person asking cared and I wasn’t written off.
You cared enough to ask and stick around. That is always the most special gift of all.
The emotional shock following a stressful event like an injury, disability, or a life event that catches us off guard doesn’t just affect the person dealing with the trauma. It finds its way into the hearts and souls of everyone surrounding that person as well. Family, friends, and caregivers are certainly at the forefront of trying to understand and cope with the difficult situation before them.
A truly important thing for everyone to understand is that we all processes stress and trauma differently. Therefore a rush to judgment when someone does more or less than another when helping should never be quantified. Focus your attention on the person that needs help most. This may not only be the person injured, but a family member or friend that is still in shock and coping with their loved one’s ailment. This is a time for all to communicate and process what has occurred so everyone knows they have a support network that cares about each and every person around them.
Keep patience in mind when you’re trying to help. The person being assisted may not be able to convey what’s bothering them. Emotions, doubts, fears, depression, solitude, and regret may bubble to the surface, and sometimes just being there is the best medicine of all. Patience needs to prevail during conversations. By just listening and talking to the person in need you’re instilling normal back into their lives because more than likely it’s something you’ve done many times in the past prior to their trauma. While doing so, you may notice crossed arms and legs are suddenly uncrossed, panic and stress in an exchange are replaced by a more peaceful and relaxed mood.
As healing continues over time and a new normal is established, the more inclusion amongst family and friends is vitally important. Remember one last takeaway: while you’re there to help, the evolution of the person in need can move in two different directions. Therefore, let the actions you take always help to move growth and development in a positive direction.
I encourage you to share your thoughts and impressions from this post with family members or loved ones to encourage discussion and understanding. And as always, I’m here to talk.