Returning to work after a devastating injury can be an opportunity to heal in an exciting and different way.
The psychological side of working has many different challenges that are good in multiple ways, like giving back, contributing, feeling worthwhile, and restarting your life. On the other hand, those challenges require a thick skin at times when you might not be prepared.
For example, I always had to realize that it only took one negative remark or physical injury to wreck my house of cards. Physical injuries are certainly setbacks, but people have no idea how much emotional pain they can inflict on someone with a disability. For instance, it’s easy for a person without restrictions to assume that because you’re capable of standing and working a job that nothing is wrong with you, and therefore you have no limitations. It’s easy for them to not realize they made some flippant remark that seem funny in nature to them, but cut deeply like a scalpel to you.
When those moments occur, the first thing to remember is you’re a survivor. Take a deep breath, give yourself the grace to realize you’ve come a long distance and overcome many obstacles to reach where you are, and then extend forgiveness because of your wisdom and who you are.
I aim to be mindful of every nuance of a good day. On painful, heart-hurting days, I put on The Beatles and Sir Paul McCartney’s “Let It Be” for some uplift.
To offer advice and potential foresight into what going back to work after an intense injury might look like for you or someone you love, here’s my experience returning to the workforce after my aneurysm, stroke, and neck down paralysis:
Two and a half years into my recovery, I took a leap of faith and accepted a new pilot instructor position at a start-up international cargo airline. I was asked by friends from a previous airline to come onboard and help them. There were many challenges to face in accepting this job because it was way outside of my comfort zone at the time. Yet this job was another new beginning, and flying has been part of my DNA for decades. I kept all that was exciting and positive close to me while figuring out how to devour the unknown. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity dissolve in “I can’t.” I was eager to get to work.
The external challenges were pretty immense as I thought about them prior to starting. So I knew I had all my angles covered, I needed to make a list. Oh, and did I mention the job was out of town? Yes, and I needed to fly to and from home to work each month! Next, I needed to think about my work/life balance. At that time, I also had a very aggressive alternative physical therapy program which I would need to schedule differently to accommodate the new job. Another task was sorting out how I would do therapy while out of town during time off at home. This opportunity also gave me new goals to set in my rehabilitation because I could work on my therapy routines while away and then measure them with my therapists once I returned back home.
My work schedule would take me out of town for two to three weeks, and everyday away would present new challenges that would require me to constantly make adjustments and think on the quick. Travel days were intense: after driving to the airport I needed to pull my luggage behind me with a very broken, weak, and unbalanced body. The distance from the parking garage to the terminal was pretty immense, but thankfully airports have wheelchairs and carts to take you to your gate. By the time I would get to the hotel later in the day, my body would be screaming in pain and fatigue, but I conquered the day. Other challenges I faced were going grocery shopping and then carrying multiple plastic bags into the hotel and up to my room sometimes doing more than one trip from the car back upstairs. Yes it hurt, but it was always a good workout. These days you easily call in your order to the grocery store and have everything delivered to you. What’s to be learned here is that reinforcement of a positive attitude assists you when you fall or have a less-than-great day!
At work, it was painful to stand and teach on twisted weak legs and breathe with frail lungs, but with each day I was relearning how to find my posture and grow stronger. Walking around a classroom after hours of standing at a podium made my entire torso feel like it was going to shatter, but I was useful again. Carrying teaching materials like books and boxes in front of me with hands and feet I couldn’t feel were all assaults on my brain. However, despite knowing I could ask for help, I wasn’t going to back away from my goals. I was determined to pull my own weight and attempted to do more than any of my coworkers and friends. All the challenges and hard work aside, on days off it was wonderful to go take a random drive someplace to just feel alive again. My efforts were bringing me back more of my independence. It felt good to sit outside at a restaurant by a beach and enjoy a meal. Something else extra special was that my mind wasn’t caught up on what was limiting me, or analyzing my body, but rather focused on the happiness of living in the moment and absorbing what was going on around me.
Preparing for work and going out of town each month meant that I always needed to focus and dial into what was most important for my well-being and that was my own will to survive. I say all this to you because some days are going to be better than others, and it’s easy to lose your way. Having said that, I always boiled things down physically by telling myself every effort brings me closer to healing and feeling better. The physical aspect always moves me closer to solutions than problems, like saying “I can” versus “I can’t.” As for the psychological side of this journey, the interior and exterior part of this equation is a yin and yang kind of chaos. For instance, I realize everyday how much I need social interaction to continue forward. However, I equally realize that other people, especially those closest to you can tear down all you worked so hard to build in mere seconds.
The lesson here is to keep fighting at all costs. Even though your fight is harder than most, the payoff in the end is a life that is appreciated more than normal people can ever know. I am always mindful of every nuance of a good day, and on those painful, heart-hurting days when I need some uplift, I lean toward a song by the Beatles and Sir Paul McCartney, “Let It Be.” Give the song a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR-3ajVftG4
I encourage you to follow me here each week and on social media as I write inspirational blogs to help you find your own way forward!