Words have power.
When my journey began in July 2012, the reality of my situation being paralyzed from the neck down presented itself in different ways each day. As I unwillingly welcomed my new dependence, I said goodbye — for now — to independence. However, I refused to grieve the loss of mobility. My list of things I could do was very short, but it was at least a list. From the onset of all that happened, I chose to adopt a positive mindset and focused on words like perseverance, fortitude, endurance, and ceaseless. Words I would not let into my world were grief, depression, cope, or mourn. These were not my words, not the words of a fighter, and they would not get me to my goals as I set forth toward recovery down a new, unknown path and unforeseeable future. Here are 3 key words I suggest you focus on as well: motivation, movement, and momentum.
Being paralyzed means you’re dependent on everyone for everything physical. The psychological part of the equation is up to you. Because my diaphragm and lungs were weakened by my stroke, the hardest chore I initially contended with was drawing breath. But the easiest thing I did was use my brain. The biggest part of recovery is knowing what hinders you is yours and nobody else’s. You still have power. Therefore, find what works and change it up as you evolve.
Newton’s Laws of Motion came to mind during my early stages of recovery, when I had all the time in the world to think. To gain momentum, I first needed to move. Making my initial plans to recover passed time, kept me positively occupied, and motivated me to take action. This mental focus guided me through overwhelming and anxiety-inducing days in the hospital, where I couldn’t simply get up and walk away from sounds of other patients in distress. My own fate during each moment of each day was still a question mark after the traumatic surgery I endured, and so motivation, movement, and momentum became my singular vision and my full-time job. I would not let anything else invade that purpose, my environment, or my goals. My cards had been dealt, and it was time to get to work. I was going to motivate myself and develop my own plan for getting out of that hospital. More to the point, my Option A was that I wanted my freedom and my independence back, and there was no Option B.
My very survival depended on conquering motivation, movement, and momentum. It didn’t matter how I got there, and nothing, or nobody would stand in my way. You have the will within to have the same mental fortitude.
This journey isn’t a game you put away after you get tired of playing, something you turn off after work, or set aside because it’s the weekend so you can have a break. Over the years, my body continually grew stronger and muscle memory returned, but the physical aspects take a backseat to the psychological aspects of finding forward. These limitations are always with you. Therefore, to overcome the mountains you climb in your head each day, you must pay homage to your tormentor and acknowledge that despite its presence, you still have a life beyond its grasp on you. Above all, you must never forget how to be happy. If you have trouble remembering and get lost, find a way to revisit joy and focus on growing back that happy muscle memory. For example, a close friend could see I was losing my way and recently suggested I take a drive just for ice cream. When you forget yourself, give thanks to good people who care and wish to help. Let people into your lives as much as possible, especially during those times when the happy tank feels depleted. You don’t have to move forward alone.
Follow along with me here for future posts and on social media for more conversations on mental health, physical disabilities, and recovery. Links to my social channels are found below, and feel free to leave a comment if you feel so moved. I’m always happy to lend an ear and help where I can.