Over the last few weeks, I’ve taken a little time to myself to reflect on my life before and since my aneurysm and stroke. I’ve also been thinking about what I wanted to write to each of you with May being stroke awareness month. How did I want to address the past ten years living with, healing from, and pushing through what my own spinal cord stroke gave me with paralysis? And how to say what I’ve learned and persevered through all these years after awaking into my new journey? I turned fifty-nine at the beginning of the month, which also brought about its own reflections as well. In all my thinking, I realized that what I really wanted to talk about was the bridge that delivered me along the way from stroke awareness to life awareness.
When something as devastating as a stroke occurs in somebody’s life, we can safely say we were never prepared for whatever may have induced it; but now that it’s here, we also can’t give it back. In other words, we have to find our way through all the shock and interruptions of this trauma we just miraculously survived. More than likely, the first issue we need to come to grips with is saying the word “stroke” in acknowledgment that it did, indeed, happen.
In my case, to find my own way forward through the many new mazes of life challenges, I needed to be objective, positive and open-minded along the way, which required patience. I needed to confront my limitations and then decide whether or not I wanted to look back and live in my past or look forward into the unknown of my future. Having said that, people have a big influence on your life, and you may not initially realize it. In the interest of comforting you, family and friends may speak to you of occasions spent together before your stroke. That’s great to bring happiness and cheer during that initial difficult time, but memories and events with them in your past doesn’t need to become the muscle memory that prevents you from moving forward into your future. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying the past is bad — it’s actually good because it has the ability to resurrect happiness and laughter of times you may need to comfort you during difficult, present times. What I’m saying is use it like an occasional crutch, just be cautious of using it too much or trying to make your past, your present.
Create plans, define your purpose and develop your ideas along your new journey. You may feel in the beginning that time is not on your side and you’re racing against it to heal from your limitations and circumstances. Let me assure you that time is working in your favor if you let it help you appreciate so many good things you never realized before in your previous life before the trauma occurred. You’ve been given a second chance at living, so find the time and patience to recognize what’s been bestowed upon you to see life from a wonderful new perspective. Plans, purpose and ideas can take on new meaning for you when you allow in the recognition of what happened and move on. These three things can create a new beginning and a foundation of new memories that lead to an entirely new past, present and future. So find and embrace peace within you, and find grace in living.
Where do you find peace, happiness and inspiration? Have you been able to move on with your life? Do you have someone or people in your network that you talk to regularly and find delight each time you have a conversation with them? As I’ve mentioned many times in my posts, it’s the little things in our lives that matter, and it’s up to us to find and embrace what creates positive energy. For myself, I find peace as always anytime I get to help someone else. I also find peace in my job teaching and giving back to my profession. There’s peace in each step I take and in offering a listening ear and inspiration as often as possible. I also find peace in having conversations with others like yourselves, sincere gratefulness for my therapists whom I appreciate for all they continually do to help me improve (especially after all these years) and last but not least for my family. To the stroke community, I would offer as we all know that a stroke is something we live with every day, but they do not define us. We survived a devastating trauma, and we’ve been given a second chance at life. Give thanks and grace each day for what you have and smile for the blessing.